I was depressed in the beginning, paralyzed by anxiety, and was so afraid of losing my little girl I had waited my whole life to meet, and I was afraid to get close to her. There... I said it. It is true. I feel horrible for that now, and I wish I had a crystal ball to know how it was all going to turn out. My daughter is a happy, healthy, smart 2 year old diva. She is well adjusted, very social and you would never know what she has been through. I say this to you because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. I wish I would have known that it was all going to be okay. Of course, people kept telling me that. I just wish I could have let myself believe that. Let yourself believe that!!! So, I am telling you now, it will all be okay.
I am so thankful for all of the parents I met through Nevus Outreach and the strength and reassurance they gave me through such an uncertain time, and I thank God for the lifelong friends we have made through this journey who we would have never met otherwise! Know that we are all here for YOU!
You will do your research, you will make the best decisions when it comes to removal or not to remove, choosing surgeons, and no matter how rough the road seems, you will get through it. It definitely isn't what we expected or planned for our little ones but for some reason, this is their journey. I am praying for you and your babies. I know how hard this is for you and the road is going to be.
We chose to remove Khloe's nevus for several reasons and after much research and consultation chose tissue expansion with Dr. Caroline Chester in Nashville, TN. I wanted to share a little of Khloe's journey through the removal process in pictures so you can see that we survived and how unaffected she is.
Enjoy those babies!!! It is all going to be okay! Love and prayers to you all!
---- <3 Nikki
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| Khloe's intact nevus a few hours after birth |
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| A few pics of a full scalp expander at 101 ccs |
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| Before any expanders & right after last expander removal |
Thank you so much for this post. I gave birth to my daughter on September 27th, and our story reads a lot like yours! She was born with CMN, although it is a small-moderate size one on her scalp, for which I am grateful. Although my daughter's CMN is most likely never going to be a problem for her and will be covered by her hair, I was so glad to read your blog about what all your sweet Khloe went through - it has given me so much encouragement. After finding out what my daughter's birthmark was, I went through the same shenanigans of googling and reading about melanomas and CNS melanosis. I've been so scared of what it might mean for her health and what it will mean cosmetically. But after reading what all your family has been through with Khloe and that it all turned out okay, it makes me feel so much better and not so alone! Thanks so much for sharing this post to fellow Nevus parents. =)
ReplyDeleteMandy
Atlanta, GA
Hi Mandy!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the birth of your baby girl! Thank you for taking the time to read Khloe's blog. I am so sorry for all that you went through after her birth but so happy to hear that she is doing great! Thank you for letting me know this helped. I wish more people knew about CMN and what it is like for us parents! I am so glad it offered some comfort! Enjoy that special baby! Many blessings!